Negotiations are omnipresent, not only at the beginning of the year – whether in a professional or private context. Examples include salary negotiations, buying a car or in personal relationships.

Therefore, the ability to negotiate successfully is therefore invaluable. Taking the time to think through the right approach to a negotiation in advance can ultimately determine where it is successful or not.

Read my 5 insider tips for successful negotiation

In my latest blog post, I share with you my 5 insider tips to help you strengthen your negotiation skills and use them successfully in different situations.

Good preparation is half the battle

As mentioned at the beginning, thorough preparation is key to success in negotiation situations. Find out about the parties involved, their interests and their goals. Set yourself clear goals for the negotiation and consider possible compromises in advance. The better prepared you are, the more confident and flexible you can be during the negotiation. 

There are two types of preparation:

Technical, factual preparation

What are your goals? Write them down. This will help you to clearly define and process what you want to achieve. This is an important step in optimal preparation.

Subconscious mental preparation

I advise you to make a list before important negotiations. This will allow you to bring subconscious issues to the surface and clarify the negotiation situation. This form of preparation enables you to identify any „hidden agenda“ that you may not have suspected existed. Issues that have already arisen include systemic confusion among the negotiating partners (e.g. confusion with a parent) or undisclosed elements of the negotiation, such as a lack of negotiating tactics because the focus is on power alone.

Combining this change of perspective with an examination of the negotiating partners, can help you go into the negotiation better prepared, enabling you to better understand the demands of both sides or create a better common starting point.

Does that sound too abstract? If so, I invite you to join meat one of my next constellation evenings, where you can take a look behind the scenes of a negotiation.

Active listening

In negotiations, we often tend to talk more than listen in negotiations because we are nervous. Do you recognise this? However, active listening is crucial to understanding the needs and perspectives of the other party.

Show interest in what your negotiating partner is saying, through their body language (nodding), an affirmative „yes“ response and a positive inner attitude. Ask open questions to gain more insight into your counterpart’s views. Repeat what has been said to clarify whether you have understood correctly and seek confirmation. This creates clarity and builds a positive subconscious connection with your conversation partner. You demonstrate that you are taking your counterpart’s position seriously and that you are genuinely interested in achieving a common goal. This creates a positive atmosphere for the conversation and lays the foundation for cooperative negotiation. #PositiveAttitude

Strive for a win-win

Successful negotiations lead to win-win situations, where both parties are satisfied. Rather than striving for victory at any cost, seek solutions that benefit everyone involved. Flexibility and creativity are required here. Mutual gains promote long-term relationships and make future negotiations easier.

Maintain control over your emotions

Negotiations can be emotionally charged, especially when important issues are at stake. It is therefore crucial to keep a cool head and control your emotions. This is often easier said than done.

Mental preparation is the key to success here. Meditating and achieving inner calm are important parts of this. If you find it difficult, seek support from a coach who can help you see things more calmly.

During the conversation, focus on the facts and try remain respectful, even if you have different opinions. If things get heated, ask for a short break and gather your courage to ask what the real issue is. The keyword here is: „hidden agenda“.

Emotionality is often based on unspoken issues that preoccupy us internally. We try to protect ourselves from emotional downturns. This is not always helpful, but it is only human. Emotional intelligence is an important key to successful negotiations. Being aware of this will help you progress much faster, not only in negotiations, but also in conversations with teams and colleagues.

Develop alternative options

Negotiations don’t always go according to plan. That’s why it’s important to be prepared for the unexpected. Develop alternative options and solutions in advance in case your original negotiation goals cannot be achieved. This gives you flexibility and prevents the negotiation from reaching a dead end.

If you don’t manage to reach common ground, it’s not the end of the world. Negotiations don’t always end happy; that’s just part of the process. Sometimes it takes a second attempt before both parties can reach an agreement. 

Successful negotiation requires more than just skill!