(c) picture by Svensk Filmindustrie (SF)
What can we learn from Pippi Longstocking
for the next initial meeting
I was inspired to write this article during a business trip When I spent a day with people I had never met before, with whom I wanted to build a professional relationship. There were some exciting and unexpected situations, which raised an important question in my mind: What is the best way to prepare for such an appointment?
One thing is clear – the power of first impressions is immense. Studies show that it takes at most 100 milliseconds to form and express an opinion about someone. After that, our assessment of a person is virtually set in stone – who is attractive, likeable and trustworthy and who is not.
So, is there a way to influence the first impression in such situations?
Taking a second look at every situation is a good start. Understanding what makes the other person tick and then finding common ground as quickly as possible can be very effective for any first meeting.
This all sounds very simple in theory, but it is not quite so easy in practice. But don’t despair – there are plenty of ways to help you!
To help you make a good first impression, I have summarised my five helpful tips for sucessfully influencing first contact:
1. Five senses
Taking all five senses into account when communicating makes a huge difference. Visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory and gustatory – all these must be addressed. How can you find out which senses your counterpart prefers? Connect with your counterpart by choosing your words carefully and observing their reaction – the preferences will often become clear very quickly. Here are a few examples of how to apply this:
- Visual: „Can you picture it?“
- Auditory: „That sounds like music to my ears.“
- Kinesthetic: „Let’s gather all the information.“
- Olfactory: „I think you’ve got the right instinct in this case.“
- Gustatory: „Let the idea melt in your mouth.“
If your conversation partner reacts particularly strongly to one of these senses, you can consciously choose your words that appeal to their sensory world.
2. Body language
Analysing the body language of the person you are talking to can be helpful in any conversation. It can even be particularly beneficial for building a relationship with the other person creating a faster basis of trust more quickly. It shows attention and appreciation and improves communication as a whole.
What can be analysed in terms of body language?
Apart from using the five senses as mentioned above, you can observe arm movements, sitting posture, breathing, smiling and even head posture.
➯ IMPORTANT
: the analysis of body language and imitation should feel intuitive. If it becomes a kind of „competition“ and feels unnatural to „copy“ each other, it will seem implausible and hinder conversation.
3. Use metaphors
Using a metapher in conversation or explanations helps to better illustrate a topic,because as the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.
Using metaphors in communication appeals to the different sensory channels of all listeners. They allow stories to be told in a particularly vivid and pictorial way.
The following metaphors are often used in conversation:
- This exercise is a drop in the ocean.
- This statement took me completely by surprise.
- I often have the feeling that he/she is very experienced.
- Everyday life is often like a rollercoaster ride; it’s just a question of how you deal with it.
These are just a few examples of many. But one thing is certain: metaphors inspire the audience and enrich language.
4. A joint activity
As a trainer, I particularly like using Lego as an introduction to a workshop day or even at a first meeting. Firstly, everyone likes playing with Lego and secondly, it isi hard to go wrong – participants always feel a sense of achievement when using it. It can also be a lot of fun to see all the things that get built. 😉
Anyone who claims that you can’t use it to start a good conversation afterwards is wrong. Of course, Lego is only one way to start a joint activity. Other effective methods include a new seating arrangement in the room or a joint team-building activity such as „rock, paper, scissors“.
However, if you don’t have the authority to choose an activity, simply inviting your counterpart for a coffee together or to the buffet is enough.
No matter which method you choose, it should always fit the context of the conversation and be relevant to the situation.
5. Inner attitude
Our inner attitude determines our lives, including every conversation.
Here’s an example: If I go to a meeting with a negative mindest, the probability that the conversation will be unpleasant is, of course, very, very high. However, if I go into a conversation feeling positive, the outcome is likely to be positive.
As Pippi Longstocking always said, „I make the world the way I like it,“ and as a result, she always ended up on the sunny side of life.
Similarly, we can talk ourselves into certain things and thus control how we come across in initial conversations, because non-verbal communication often reveals much more about us than what is actually said.
Together, all this enables us to build a good connection with our conversation partners and thus make a good first impression. It all sounds quite simple, doesn’t it? Okay, that’s a lot of information to take in at once.
